Mrs. Frisk graciously allowed me to borrow her copy of From the Library of C.S. Lewis: Selections from writers who influenced his spiritual journey (compiled by James Stuart Bell). This book had writings from authors such as G.K. Chesterton, George MacDonald, J.R.R. Tolkein, Dorothy L. Sayers, Marting Luther, St. Augustine and many more. The following are some excerpts from the works included in this book that I found striking, encouraging, or both.
"Choose which you will: if you love the world, you shall perish with it: if you love Christ, with Him shall you reign." Richard Rolle, Selected Works
"The Christian religion, then, teaches these truths; that there is a God whom man can know and that there is a corruption in their nature which renders them unworthy of Him...The knowledge of only one of these points gives rise to the pride of philosophers, who have known God, and not their own wretchedness, or to the despair of atheists, who kmow their own wretchedness but not the Redeemer." Thomas A Kempis, The Imitation of Christ
"Nothing makes a man so great among men, nothing makes a man so necessary to God that he can escape affliction." John Donne, Donne's Sermons (I find great encouragment in this quote)
"Prayer is a strong wall and fortress of the church; it is a godly Christian's weapon, which no man knows or finds, but only he who has the spirit of grace and prayer." Martin Luther, Table Talk
"May He do with me what He pleases: I desire only Him, and want to be wholly devoted to Him." Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God. (Wow! I want this to be the heartbeat of my own heart!)
"[On Prayer] To bring His child to His knee, God withholds that man may ask." George MacDonald, Creation in Christ. (I have loved MacDonald! He has a clear cut way of thinking that is very profound. I'm seriously considering reading his Phantastes which C.S. Lewis said "baptized my imagination.")
"It is the little love with which they love each other, the great love with which they love themselves, that hurts the heart of their father." George MacDonald, Donal Grant
"Every act of worship is a holding up to God of what God has made us." George MacDonald, Unspoken Sermons
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Psalm 84:10-11
Psalm 84:10 For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand outside. I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. 11 For the Lord God is a sun and a shield; The Lord gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
I cannot express just how comforting those words are and just how challenging they are. The Lord is so good and so amazing. His presence and favor are the most pleasure-giving things ever in existence. So good is being just in the vicinity of God that the psalmist says that one day in His courts is better, more satisfying and more gratifying than a thousand days spent anywhere else. I especially like the way the psalmist says that he would rather stand at the threshold (not even inside) of the house of God than dwell (fully inhabit) in the tents of wickedness. The smallest encounter of God's dwelling place is infinitely better than an extended encounter with an unrighteous man's abode. I really want to live keeping this picture in mind. Often I can get caught in thinking of where I want to travel to, go to medical school, or visit and just set my heart so firmly on places on this earth. I don't think that in comparison I think nearly as much about heaven. And I don't mean thinking about heaven in the terms of being the most amazing place ever because of what I may get there but in terms of how unbelievably blissful, amazing, mind-blowing, and soul-satisfying it will be to be in the presence of the Almighty God. I simply cannot imagine what it will be like to be able to gaze on my Savior. Just thinking about it makes everything of this world fade in comparison. The problem, however, is that I don't possibly think about it enough and end up letting this world entangle and capture my affections that ought to be set on Christ.
Verse 11 holds even more encouragement. I love the comparison of God to a sun and a shield. God is radiant and life-giving. He is also strong and life-preserving. Furthermore, as the verse continues, the psalmist says that the Lord gives grace and glory. There is so much packed into those words. God gives the free gift of grace, which alone shows so much of His character and love. But God also gives glory. This is a concept that seems a little more complicated and I haven't fully thought that one through. The last part of the verse is extremely comforting to know and that is that God withholds no good thing from those whom He loves. So whether it may appear to us as being a blessing or a curse, God has ordained it for our ultimate good. What an unbelievably amazing God we serve!
[Oh and kind of as a post script, random thought that I thought I'd add, sometimes when I contemplate what God has done for us and what the Bible tells us is going to happen, I feel like it is all a fairy tale, too good to be true. And then I remind myself that this isn't a fairy tale and God really does love me and wants a relationship with me. At those moments I think I feel like I have it better than any fairy tale princess.)
I cannot express just how comforting those words are and just how challenging they are. The Lord is so good and so amazing. His presence and favor are the most pleasure-giving things ever in existence. So good is being just in the vicinity of God that the psalmist says that one day in His courts is better, more satisfying and more gratifying than a thousand days spent anywhere else. I especially like the way the psalmist says that he would rather stand at the threshold (not even inside) of the house of God than dwell (fully inhabit) in the tents of wickedness. The smallest encounter of God's dwelling place is infinitely better than an extended encounter with an unrighteous man's abode. I really want to live keeping this picture in mind. Often I can get caught in thinking of where I want to travel to, go to medical school, or visit and just set my heart so firmly on places on this earth. I don't think that in comparison I think nearly as much about heaven. And I don't mean thinking about heaven in the terms of being the most amazing place ever because of what I may get there but in terms of how unbelievably blissful, amazing, mind-blowing, and soul-satisfying it will be to be in the presence of the Almighty God. I simply cannot imagine what it will be like to be able to gaze on my Savior. Just thinking about it makes everything of this world fade in comparison. The problem, however, is that I don't possibly think about it enough and end up letting this world entangle and capture my affections that ought to be set on Christ.
Verse 11 holds even more encouragement. I love the comparison of God to a sun and a shield. God is radiant and life-giving. He is also strong and life-preserving. Furthermore, as the verse continues, the psalmist says that the Lord gives grace and glory. There is so much packed into those words. God gives the free gift of grace, which alone shows so much of His character and love. But God also gives glory. This is a concept that seems a little more complicated and I haven't fully thought that one through. The last part of the verse is extremely comforting to know and that is that God withholds no good thing from those whom He loves. So whether it may appear to us as being a blessing or a curse, God has ordained it for our ultimate good. What an unbelievably amazing God we serve!
[Oh and kind of as a post script, random thought that I thought I'd add, sometimes when I contemplate what God has done for us and what the Bible tells us is going to happen, I feel like it is all a fairy tale, too good to be true. And then I remind myself that this isn't a fairy tale and God really does love me and wants a relationship with me. At those moments I think I feel like I have it better than any fairy tale princess.)
Monday, June 29, 2009
The End of the Story
It is so comforting to know that no matter what happens in the here and now, God wins in the end. That is the bottomline, the end of the story. There is no changing of that fact. An entire book (and more) of divine, inerrant Scripture attests to how God will win and how all His enemies will be defeated. God will come out on top and there is no getting around it. I find this very comforting to know. I can rest assured that my God will win and that no other power, worldly or spiritual, can do anything to me. In the end I will be glorified in my Lord and I will glory in Him. I will sing His praises for eternity, surrounded by my brothers and sisters in Christ who will be doing the same and enjoying every wonderful moment of it.
As I pondered this truth, I began thinking about how God wins on a smaller scale, too. He "wins" in every situation of each human being's life. Now when I say "God wins," I mean that He is glorified. And God brings about His glory in every situation. This may not be apparent at first glance. It may seem that God has abandoned the family whose head dies in Iraq. It may seem that God was helpless when an elderly lady was murdered in her home. It may seem that God was defeated in the decline of a church. But we must not forget that this story's author is God. He knows the beginning, middle, and end. He will be glorified, even if we don't see it. For all we know, the death of the soldier and the elderly lady could have brought many others to eternal life in Christ. The decline of the church could be God's way of giving birth to a new church, more true to God's Word. I find this comforting as well. It is the truth of God's inevitable victory and His sovereignty that has given me a trusting heart in the face of my mom's breast cancer. Cancer; typically the word strikes fear in the heart. But I know that my God is in control and He will win. He is going to do a mighty work through this and I rejoice in that. My God will win. Please be praying for my mom as she will have surgery next week to have the cancerous lump removed. More importantly, though, pray that God would use this cancer to save my mom,my dad, and the rest of my unbelieving family. God is good.
As I pondered this truth, I began thinking about how God wins on a smaller scale, too. He "wins" in every situation of each human being's life. Now when I say "God wins," I mean that He is glorified. And God brings about His glory in every situation. This may not be apparent at first glance. It may seem that God has abandoned the family whose head dies in Iraq. It may seem that God was helpless when an elderly lady was murdered in her home. It may seem that God was defeated in the decline of a church. But we must not forget that this story's author is God. He knows the beginning, middle, and end. He will be glorified, even if we don't see it. For all we know, the death of the soldier and the elderly lady could have brought many others to eternal life in Christ. The decline of the church could be God's way of giving birth to a new church, more true to God's Word. I find this comforting as well. It is the truth of God's inevitable victory and His sovereignty that has given me a trusting heart in the face of my mom's breast cancer. Cancer; typically the word strikes fear in the heart. But I know that my God is in control and He will win. He is going to do a mighty work through this and I rejoice in that. My God will win. Please be praying for my mom as she will have surgery next week to have the cancerous lump removed. More importantly, though, pray that God would use this cancer to save my mom,my dad, and the rest of my unbelieving family. God is good.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
My Testimony
Here is my testimony as read at the 2009 Spring Banquet. More posts will be coming soon.
As most of you know, my siblings and I came to Grace 4 years ago. Our parents sent us here not because of spiritual reasons but for academic ones. They wanted to give us every opportunity to excel in schoolwork and wanted to protect us from things we might have run into at larger, public schools. They did not intend for us to be affected spiritually at all, although they did admonish us to not abandon our culture, and essentially our religion, Sikhism.
At first I was very naïve. I did not fully understand what Christianity was and I thought for sure that I could reconcile my own faith with it. However, every argument that I had for my beliefs and the beliefs of my parents was refuted. This erosion of my defense was not done in a direct manner such as one-on-one debates but through the increased knowledge of what Christianity was, especially through my interactions with Scripture. The more I learned about it, the more it made sense. Soon, I was convinced that Christianity was the only true faith, the only way to God. However, I had not forgotten my parents’ desires.
There was a time in the spring of my freshman year that I, out of fear of hell, said a prayer accepting Christ. For a week I thought that I had been saved and that I was now a child of God. For a week I worked up the courage to tell my parents. I told my dad when he picked us up from school one day. He immediately began reasoning with me, telling me that every religion is the same and that I should have never left our religion. I listened to his arguments, knowing that each argument was false. But in the end I conceded to him, not because he had been able to win me over logically but because I could not stand losing favor in the eyes of my family. At that time I thought I needed my family more than I needed Christ.
So we continued to attend Grace. I could feel my heart hardening, however. My heart was hardening towards Christ and all things spiritual and it was hardening towards my parents, who were preventing me from accepting Christ. But at school I continued to put on a show.
I thought I did rather well at pretending to be a Christian. There were people who knew about my true spiritual state, though. Their full numbers I do not know even to this day but I thank God for their faithfulness, especially in prayer. Mrs. Dabrowski was one person who I knew was aware of my spiritual deadness. She occasionally talked to me after class or when no one else was around about Christ. She entreated me again and again to accept Christ. I always told her that I could not because of my parents and she always reminded me that this matter was solely between me and God. Soon I dreaded being alone with Mrs. Dabrowski, as much as I loved her, because I did not want to be reminded that I was hell bound.
By the end of my junior year and through senior year, there were others that had figured out that I was not a believer and they were faithful to talk to me about it. It did not take long, however, for me to begin to avoid their company as well.
Snow Retreat 2009 rolled around and I was put into a tight corner. Loveleen had convinced our dad to let us go this year. I was excited at the prospect of going for the sake of spending time with my friends but I was wary of all things spiritual. In particular, I was afraid of revealing that I was not a Christian. So as the end of the semester approached, I busied myself in schoolwork, trying not to think of the 09SR.
But even as I worked to ignore the looming event, I could feel God preparing my heart for it. To a certain degree, I found my heart softening and by the Sunday before the retreat, I found myself thinking, “Okay God. If You really want me saved, then shatter my heart of stone at this retreat. If You don’t, I will take it that I am never to be one of Yours. Do what You will.” In a sense I turned everything over to God then.
The first day of Snow Retreat came as we all piled into the buses and headed over. There were first day festivities and things, as usual, and then there was the sermon. Sean Higgins was going to be preaching this year and to be honest, that was one of the reasons that I was so wary of coming. Sean is an amazing speaker who has a gift of cutting straight through to people’s hearts. He spoke that first session from Revelation 3:14-22 on how God will spit out the lukewarm. I definitely classified myself as the lukewarm so the message was particularly striking.
As usual, after the sessions were cabin times. God had wisely arranged for Mrs. Frisk to have two cabins this year, one that contained me and several senior girls and another that contained a medley of girls, including my sister. During that first cabin time we shared testimonies. I was very quiet and just listened, hoping the entire time that I would not have to speak. But then Loveleen spoke and that was when I first found out that she had accepted Christ. I sat there listening to my sister confess her love for Christ. After she was done, I went ahead and put the truth of my own spiritual state before everyone who was there. I told them that I was not a Christian and hated the fact that I could not be one because I did not have the courage to face my parents.
I silently contemplated things as cabin times continued. I can’t remember everything that went through my mind as I sat there but I remember coming to a decision. After cabin times there was a mad rush for showers and during that time, Bethany came up to the room I was in. Bethany was one of those people that had been faithfully talking to me about Christ and things spiritual. She asked me how our cabin times went and it was then that I told her. Whatever would happen at home, Christ would take care of because I had accepted and wanted Him as my Lord and Savior. I had such a sense of peace and joy for the rest of that week. I could not imagine why in the world I had tried to live without it before.
The next step for me and my sister was to tell our parents about our decision. I had felt a strong conviction to tell them especially since what I had claimed was holding me back from acccepting was them. So we talked to Mrs. Frisk about it and decided to tell them later on in the weekend. On Saturday, I talked to my brother and he said that he had accepted Christ as well. So on Sunday, when my dad got home from work, I sat both my parents down and told them. I watched their expressions go from excitement to disbelief to shock to rage. Just as I had expected, they were not happy. But this time I had the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gave me strength to remain firm in the faith, so much so that I did not even once break down in tears before my parents.
My parents tried everything they could over the next two days to get us to reject Christ. I, in particular, was their focus. I think it was that I am their oldest child, the one that they had the most hopes for. I never felt compelled to go back on my commitment to Christ, however. In fact, it was in those first few days after we told them that I felt the greatest reassurance that I was indeed saved.
When my parents realized that I was not going to budge, they looked desperately for a reason as to why I would have changed so much in such a short amount of time. They decided that I had crashed under pressure from school. So they took me to a psychiatrist in Seattle who pronounced me to be in the early stages of bipolar disorder. My parents, to this day, believe that diagnosis.
As much as the diagnosis and my parents’ acceptance of it came as a shock to me, it was also a blessing. I could now live out my testimony before my family without being intensely persecuted. The entire experience was truly a blessing in disguise. Even as my biological family was turning against me, I was discovering my family in Christ. Especially at Grace, I received so much support and love, even from people whom I did not know very well. My heart overflowed with love for these people who were not only offering me their prayers but also their homes, if the situation ever came to that.
Looking back, I do not regret anything. Although I have had my ups and downs, I have not turned my back on my Lord and do not intend to do so. I encourage any of you who have not accepted Christ to not go another minute without doing so. Whatever your reasons may be to hold back, I assure you that a relationship with Christ will be worth it. It won’t be easy, but it will definitely be worth it.
Now as we turn to the wonderful evening that we have before us, I entreat you to look at banquet from a different light. This event is an opportunity for us as students to not only dress up and have a good time but to also serve God and one another. Go out of your way to make these next few hours the most enjoyable ones not only for yourself but for those around you. This service could be pulling out the chair for someone or even just having a good attitude. Remember that the most important part, however, is that you are seeking to glorify Christ. I also encourage you to talk to those around you about what Christ is doing in your life. Share with one another the spiritual lessons that you have been learning so that each of you may profit from the lives of your brothers and sisters in Christ.
Looking back on my own life, I feel sad that I let so many such opportunities go to waste. Don’t let this opportunity go. Make the 2009 Spring Banquet more than another Grace Academy banquet.
As most of you know, my siblings and I came to Grace 4 years ago. Our parents sent us here not because of spiritual reasons but for academic ones. They wanted to give us every opportunity to excel in schoolwork and wanted to protect us from things we might have run into at larger, public schools. They did not intend for us to be affected spiritually at all, although they did admonish us to not abandon our culture, and essentially our religion, Sikhism.
At first I was very naïve. I did not fully understand what Christianity was and I thought for sure that I could reconcile my own faith with it. However, every argument that I had for my beliefs and the beliefs of my parents was refuted. This erosion of my defense was not done in a direct manner such as one-on-one debates but through the increased knowledge of what Christianity was, especially through my interactions with Scripture. The more I learned about it, the more it made sense. Soon, I was convinced that Christianity was the only true faith, the only way to God. However, I had not forgotten my parents’ desires.
There was a time in the spring of my freshman year that I, out of fear of hell, said a prayer accepting Christ. For a week I thought that I had been saved and that I was now a child of God. For a week I worked up the courage to tell my parents. I told my dad when he picked us up from school one day. He immediately began reasoning with me, telling me that every religion is the same and that I should have never left our religion. I listened to his arguments, knowing that each argument was false. But in the end I conceded to him, not because he had been able to win me over logically but because I could not stand losing favor in the eyes of my family. At that time I thought I needed my family more than I needed Christ.
So we continued to attend Grace. I could feel my heart hardening, however. My heart was hardening towards Christ and all things spiritual and it was hardening towards my parents, who were preventing me from accepting Christ. But at school I continued to put on a show.
I thought I did rather well at pretending to be a Christian. There were people who knew about my true spiritual state, though. Their full numbers I do not know even to this day but I thank God for their faithfulness, especially in prayer. Mrs. Dabrowski was one person who I knew was aware of my spiritual deadness. She occasionally talked to me after class or when no one else was around about Christ. She entreated me again and again to accept Christ. I always told her that I could not because of my parents and she always reminded me that this matter was solely between me and God. Soon I dreaded being alone with Mrs. Dabrowski, as much as I loved her, because I did not want to be reminded that I was hell bound.
By the end of my junior year and through senior year, there were others that had figured out that I was not a believer and they were faithful to talk to me about it. It did not take long, however, for me to begin to avoid their company as well.
Snow Retreat 2009 rolled around and I was put into a tight corner. Loveleen had convinced our dad to let us go this year. I was excited at the prospect of going for the sake of spending time with my friends but I was wary of all things spiritual. In particular, I was afraid of revealing that I was not a Christian. So as the end of the semester approached, I busied myself in schoolwork, trying not to think of the 09SR.
But even as I worked to ignore the looming event, I could feel God preparing my heart for it. To a certain degree, I found my heart softening and by the Sunday before the retreat, I found myself thinking, “Okay God. If You really want me saved, then shatter my heart of stone at this retreat. If You don’t, I will take it that I am never to be one of Yours. Do what You will.” In a sense I turned everything over to God then.
The first day of Snow Retreat came as we all piled into the buses and headed over. There were first day festivities and things, as usual, and then there was the sermon. Sean Higgins was going to be preaching this year and to be honest, that was one of the reasons that I was so wary of coming. Sean is an amazing speaker who has a gift of cutting straight through to people’s hearts. He spoke that first session from Revelation 3:14-22 on how God will spit out the lukewarm. I definitely classified myself as the lukewarm so the message was particularly striking.
As usual, after the sessions were cabin times. God had wisely arranged for Mrs. Frisk to have two cabins this year, one that contained me and several senior girls and another that contained a medley of girls, including my sister. During that first cabin time we shared testimonies. I was very quiet and just listened, hoping the entire time that I would not have to speak. But then Loveleen spoke and that was when I first found out that she had accepted Christ. I sat there listening to my sister confess her love for Christ. After she was done, I went ahead and put the truth of my own spiritual state before everyone who was there. I told them that I was not a Christian and hated the fact that I could not be one because I did not have the courage to face my parents.
I silently contemplated things as cabin times continued. I can’t remember everything that went through my mind as I sat there but I remember coming to a decision. After cabin times there was a mad rush for showers and during that time, Bethany came up to the room I was in. Bethany was one of those people that had been faithfully talking to me about Christ and things spiritual. She asked me how our cabin times went and it was then that I told her. Whatever would happen at home, Christ would take care of because I had accepted and wanted Him as my Lord and Savior. I had such a sense of peace and joy for the rest of that week. I could not imagine why in the world I had tried to live without it before.
The next step for me and my sister was to tell our parents about our decision. I had felt a strong conviction to tell them especially since what I had claimed was holding me back from acccepting was them. So we talked to Mrs. Frisk about it and decided to tell them later on in the weekend. On Saturday, I talked to my brother and he said that he had accepted Christ as well. So on Sunday, when my dad got home from work, I sat both my parents down and told them. I watched their expressions go from excitement to disbelief to shock to rage. Just as I had expected, they were not happy. But this time I had the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gave me strength to remain firm in the faith, so much so that I did not even once break down in tears before my parents.
My parents tried everything they could over the next two days to get us to reject Christ. I, in particular, was their focus. I think it was that I am their oldest child, the one that they had the most hopes for. I never felt compelled to go back on my commitment to Christ, however. In fact, it was in those first few days after we told them that I felt the greatest reassurance that I was indeed saved.
When my parents realized that I was not going to budge, they looked desperately for a reason as to why I would have changed so much in such a short amount of time. They decided that I had crashed under pressure from school. So they took me to a psychiatrist in Seattle who pronounced me to be in the early stages of bipolar disorder. My parents, to this day, believe that diagnosis.
As much as the diagnosis and my parents’ acceptance of it came as a shock to me, it was also a blessing. I could now live out my testimony before my family without being intensely persecuted. The entire experience was truly a blessing in disguise. Even as my biological family was turning against me, I was discovering my family in Christ. Especially at Grace, I received so much support and love, even from people whom I did not know very well. My heart overflowed with love for these people who were not only offering me their prayers but also their homes, if the situation ever came to that.
Looking back, I do not regret anything. Although I have had my ups and downs, I have not turned my back on my Lord and do not intend to do so. I encourage any of you who have not accepted Christ to not go another minute without doing so. Whatever your reasons may be to hold back, I assure you that a relationship with Christ will be worth it. It won’t be easy, but it will definitely be worth it.
Now as we turn to the wonderful evening that we have before us, I entreat you to look at banquet from a different light. This event is an opportunity for us as students to not only dress up and have a good time but to also serve God and one another. Go out of your way to make these next few hours the most enjoyable ones not only for yourself but for those around you. This service could be pulling out the chair for someone or even just having a good attitude. Remember that the most important part, however, is that you are seeking to glorify Christ. I also encourage you to talk to those around you about what Christ is doing in your life. Share with one another the spiritual lessons that you have been learning so that each of you may profit from the lives of your brothers and sisters in Christ.
Looking back on my own life, I feel sad that I let so many such opportunities go to waste. Don’t let this opportunity go. Make the 2009 Spring Banquet more than another Grace Academy banquet.
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