First Few Days

Wow. What a tiring few days these last few days have been. I have been strained emotionally and even a bit physically (3 flights of stairs every time I want to go to my room!!??!!). But I think that spiritually, I have been strengthened.
I had a really hard time this past summer with prayer. I tended to push it to the edge of my “to-do list” or forget about it all together. I noticed that as I did this I was more and more susceptible to getting irritated at little things and flying into fits of anger or some other radical emotion. Even as I would do those things I would hear this voice in the back of my head saying, “You know why this is happening. You are trying to shut God out, trying to do this on your own.” I would try to silence this voice. I don’t know why but I would. And then I would have another reason to not pray; because I did not want to confront the fact that I had not prayed before. The strangest thing about the whole experience, however, was that everything I was doing, right down to the very last detail, I knew was wrong, had learned in Bible classes that they were wrong and had even learned ways to counteract, etc. I think I had even written papers, answered questions, and written applications on the subject. I am well-learned and equipped to recognize and fight this attack of sinful flesh on my soul. But I am what I am and what that is is a young lady who positionally is perfect but in the here and now, is very fallen. Even head knowledge cannot save man from his sinful nature and without God, we will easily oblige sin’s tempting pleas.
Thankfully, oh so utterly thankfully (is that grammatically correct? I SHOULD know this… wanting to be an English major and all), God does not allow us to follows sin’s requests for long. Just like the Good Father that He is, He chastises us when we go astray and disciplines us so as to keep us from erring again. Just the very fact that He cares enough about me to bring me back into His fold and strengthen me. What a gracious Father!
Throughout my first few days here at WSU, I have found great joy in prayer and time spent in His word. It is honestly the highlight of my days and I wish that it would only become more so.
I am sure that Christ has many plans for me here at WSU, many of which include pushing me and challenging me. (I have signed up for a third semester Spanish class meaning that I am going into a class where only Spanish is to be spoken. I haven’t had a Spanish class since the junior year of high school. So this will be a class that I will truly have to work HARD in so as to get a good grade.) The home situation is also going to be an aspect that will help me grow. The update on my mom right now is that she is recovering from her first chemotherapy session and meets with the chemo doctor I believe today or tomorrow to schedule the second session. She will be needing somewhere between 3-7 chemo sessions which Jessica tells me is a rather small amount. Praise the Lord! Other than that, my mom is doing well. She is able to go on walks everyday which I find to be a good sign. Thank you all for your prayers.
I will do my best to keep this blog updated but I can’t make any promises as to how often I will post. Again, thank you all for your prayers!

The first day

So yesterday was my first real day here at WSU and God is good. My parents dropped me off at my room for good at noon and then headed home. (I had stayed the previous night with them in their hotel room in Lewiston, Idaho. I can now say I have been to Idaho :D.) The good byes were not as tearful as I expected them to be although it has been harder than I expected afterwards. I can confidently save that I am going to LOVE coming home.
After my parents left I began organizing and decorating my room. It has turned out pretty well. I will post pictures soon hopefully. (I haven't posted pictures yet because I keep losing internet connection. I'm not sure I'm even supposed to have it in my room anyway.)
I took a break from decorating to go for a job interview. The position was that of a student telefundraiser at Call-A-Coug. Call-A-Coug contacts alumni to update their demographics, give them WSU news and ask for donations. This program raised $3.6 million dollars a few years back. After a group and individual interview, I was offered a position. God is very good.
I will try my best to keep things updated. Please feel free to text or email me! Thank you for all the prayers!

The day

Well today is the day. I'm practically all packed to go (there are a few odds and ends but nothing major). My dad looked at the car only this morning and was asking my mom if it was necessary for me to take everything that I was taking. (The Mercedes trunk is full to the top, absolutely no way to see out the back.)
I haven't blogged much in the last couple of weeks and just want to fill everyone in on things that have happened. First off, my parents had this 3 day prayer ceremony at the sikh temple in Marysville. What it basically is is a read-through of guru granth (their religious book) in 3 days. Anyone can "sponsor" it in order to have it's good effects come to them. If they sponsor it, then it is their job to provide all the food for anyone who may come during those three days as well as things like toilet paper, laundry detergent, etc. My parents wanted to do this in order to get blessings for my transition to college. And since my parents still do not recognize my faith, I (and Loveleen) were required to be a part of this. I want to thank everyone who prayed for us and would like to tell them that it went well.
I also have failed to keep everyone updated on my mom's status. My mom is recovering well from her lumpectomy. She still cannot move her arm above her head so the doctors decided to wait on the radiology and do the chemotherapy first (she will eventually be having both). She had her first session yesterday and has been doing remarkably well today. As far as I know, she has not thrown up which is a good sign. She wants to come with us to drop me off so please pray that she continues to be in as good of a state as she is now. In the long run, the doctors say that my mom will probably lose all her hair, which includes eyebrows and eyelashes. I think that would be particularly hard for me to see just because it would be a constant reminder of what my mom is going through so you can pray for strength there. Also concerning my mom, I am afraid that once I am at college, I will not be fully and honestly updated on how my mom is doing for the fear of stressing me out. I really do not want that to happen. I do not want to be left in the dark. I have told my mom that and hope that she will not keep me uninformed or misinformed.
On the side of good news, I have an interview for a job as a student telefundraiser at Call-A-Coug this Wednesday. I definitely need prayer that I get this job so that I can pay back my student loans on my own. I really do not want to have my parents pay it (although I know that they would if I could not).
Well, I have to go change and eat something before we we leave. The next time I blog, it will be from WSU.

College Address

311 Stevens Hall

PO Box 1700

Pullman, WA 99163

That's my address at WSU for anyone who would like that. Feel free to send me a letter anytime! I would absolutely love that!

Prayer Poem

This is a poem I wrote in British Literature. I found it while I was studying and thought it might be worth sharing. It is modeled after Thomas Gray's writing style.

Prayer

With bosoms heavy and minds gently confused,
We bring forth praises, lessons, requests
And all other thoughts on which we’ve mused
Hoping by Your hand they’d be put to rest.

The world is mighty wicked and does destruction seek
In forms we could not fathom, wrath they do heap.
Suffering marks every corner and tears stain the cheek
Into the heart and soul, despair and gloom do seep.

Yet, Lord, in greater measure we do richly find
Blessings from God, the Lord, our Father
Sometimes hidden in trials of certain kinds
But hope abides in them and it takes us farther

Nonetheless, through the world we alone cannot go,
On Your strength, grace, and mercy we do strive,
For to do without, our morale and faith run low,
But with, our testimonies come alive.

More than anything else in this time we seek
To align our hearts to the will of Thine
To know that whether dimples or tears adorn the cheek
For our own good and Your glory shine.

Hopkins

As I continued to study, I found this sentence in Hopkins' biography; "Hopkins began his time in Oxford as a keen socialite and prolific poet, but he seemed to have alarmed himself with the changes in his behaviour that resulted, and he became more studious and began recording his sins in his diary."
I'm not sure if this practice of recording your sins is a good habit or a bad one. On the one hand, recording your sins would help you to keep Christ's sacrifice and love in perspective as well as your own fallen state. At the same time though, I think that recording your sins might cause depression and a kind of hopelessness. Hmm... just thoughts...

Summa

SUMMA by Gerard Manley Hopkins

THE BEST ideal is the true
And other truth is none.
All glory be ascribèd to
The holy Three in One.

I found this poem while studying for my British Literature CLEP test this Saturday. I thought it was sweet and refreshing, especially after reading biographies of many other writers to find this poem at the top of Hopkins' Wikipedia page. Hope you enjoy it too!